My Parents' Divorce Decree

I remember going to the lawyer’s office with my mother. It must have been sometime in 1963. The lawyer offered me a purple lollipop. It tasted like soap! Put me off grape pops to this day! I’m not sure of the purpose of the visit but my guess is my mother was filing the papers necessary to divorce my father. I have NO idea why she brought me along!

I like to say we were the first family in the neighborhood to be divorced. It was the early 60s and although our neighborhood could have been taken for that of Beaver Cleaver's, it was actually more like Peyton Place. I wasn’t ashamed that my father didn’t live with us. In fact, I felt it made us quite unique! 

Of course, as a 7-year-old I had no real understanding of the impact divorce has on a young mother who was valiantly trying to raise four daughters between the ages of 1 and 7. So, it was eye-opening to read the terms of the divorce settlement. I decided to locate the document once I saw the prompt for this week’s 52 Ancestors blog challenge. I figured it would be in Mom’s “strongbox” and I was right! 

Mom kept this box in her closet for years.

This mysterious box was always on a shelf at the bottom of her closet. I remember a day years ago when she shared the contents with me so I’d be ready when “her time came.” Mom passed away on Dec. 2, 2011, and ownership of the box and its contents reverted to me.  

The information in the court document revealed few surprises.   My mother was the plaintiff, my father the defendant. The cause of action was “intolerable cruelty to plaintiff." My father failed to plead. He did appear at court but offered no evidence. Intolerable cruelty?? I figured maybe this was the “legalese” of the time for having extramarital affairs. That was no surprise. Knew that. 

The divorce was granted and Mom retained full custody of her four daughters. Dad was to pay $41 a week alimony and $15 a week for each child – for a grand total of $101 weekly - $404 a month. That is equal to $3280.38 in today’s dollars. Not an insignificant amount! But certainly not a great deal of money when one considers it had to cover the care and support of four children in addition to all the house expenses.

The settlement specified that my father would relinquish all rights and title to his car and the family home and its contents. Mom would be responsible for all the bills with the exception of health and life insurance. A very specific stipulation described concern for our education, “The defendant husband agrees with the plaintiff that the education of the minor children of the parties is of paramount importance and he agrees that he will do everything possible to facilitate and financially support the education of the children and make available to them any benefits accruing to him for the education of his minor children by virtue of the position which he may hold in his employment in the academic field at the time said minor children are ready to attend college.”

I’m sure he was quite sincere at the time and really intended to assist us with our future educational expenses. But, as it turned, the only one of the four us who received any “benefits accruing to him … by virtue of the position which he may hold in his employment in the academic field” was my sister, Jeanne. And that was only because she agreed to go to a Canadian university.

The divorce decree is only one of many items in the strongbox. I’ll be sharing more of the “goodies” in future posts. In the meantime, the box resides comfortably in MY closet. Writing this, I realize I placed it in approximately the same location as my mother – the bottom of the closet on the left-hand side! The subconscious is an interesting thing!

This is the 9th post for Amy Johnson Crow’s 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge. This year, I am focusing on telling the story of “Our Stuff.”

They Watch Over Us – Family Photos

Two family pictures have been hanging in our dining room for years.

Rosa Weiss Oppenheim

The first one is a portrait of my great-aunt Rosa Weiss Oppenheim. Rosa was born in Austria in 1868 and died at the very young age of 32, leaving two young children to be raised by their father Max. The sign of a good portrait is that the eyes will follow you. Rosa’s eyes certainly do! Every so often our daughter Caitlin would complain that she was freaking her out as Rosa “stared” at her during meal times!

The Spiegel Family Collage

All the photos in the frame are those of my grandmother Rose’s family – her sister, Claire Theresa, her brother Emile Garrett, and her mother,
Sophie Weiss Spiegel. Her father, Herman Spiegel who died in 1991, is noticeably absent!

Whenever I look at this framed collage (which is pretty much every day!) an image of my grandmother’s apartment flashes through my brain. In 1938, my grandmother, Rose Spiegel Lichtenthal and her daughter, Doris (my mother) arrived in America from Vienna, Austria. They moved to the apartment at 30 Eastchester Road in New Rochelle, New York after spending some time at her Aunt Irene’s house. (Irene is the daughter of Max and Rosa.) My grandfather, Paul joined them after his release from a concentration camp in 1939. My grandmother lived in that apartment until her death in 1972. It is a place that holds many special memories for me. (I must mention here that my other set of grandparents, my father’s parents lived across the hall in the same building!!)

Row 1 - Left to Right

The Spiegel children
Rose, Claire, and Emile
March 25, 1915 - Vienna, Austria

Rose Spiegel and her sister, Claire
Approx. 1908 - Semarang, Java

Rose and Claire
Approx. 1904-1905
Semarang, Java

Emile Spiegel - 1915 - Vienna, Austria
Emile later changed his last name to SPEEGER

Sophie Spiegel (seated) with daughters Claire and Rose
The woman standing in the back may be a family friend (or a servant?)
Java - approx. 1904

Row 2 - Left to Right

I recognize my Aunt Claire (standing behind Emile), Uncle Emile (in chair),
and my grandmother Rose in this undated photo from Java. (Approx. 1908)
But who are the others?

Claire and Rose

Claire and Rose

Emile, Rose, and Claire
Vienna, Austria

Row 3 - Left to Right

Rose Spiegel
Approx. 1905 - Semarang, Java

Claire Spiegel
Approx. 1903 - Semarang, Java

Sophie Weiss Spiegel with her three children - Claire, Emile, and Rose
Approx. 1907-1908  - Semarang, Java

Claire Spiegel
Approx. 1903 - Sematang, Java

Claire Spiegel
Approx. 1908 - Semarang, Java

Why does the collection of photos evoke such a strong image for me? The picture, as framed, hung above my grandfather’s desk in the tiny little hallway of the apartment. Originally, the fabric was a purple/blue satin. The years had ravaged the fabric so I redid the frame using blue cotton. I was careful to put the pictures back in the exact same position. I do worry about whatever may in the fabric leaching into the photographs. I know I shouldn’t hang originals but the frame does not have direct sunlight on it. The oldest picture in the frame is probably 115 years old, so I say, “It lasted this long as it is, so I’m going to take my chances!” Don’t worry, I made high-resolution scans of all the photos!!

The Floorplan

I just couldn’t help myself… here is a “not to scale” floorplan of my grandmother’s apartment. The “Renter’s Bedroom” was originally the room shared by my mother and her grandmother, Sophie Spiegel. After my grandfather, Paul Lichtenthal’s death in 1959, my grandmother took in renters to help her cover the bills.

Floorplan (not to scale) of my grandmother's apartment.

Considering I am writing about “Our Stuff” this year, it might be an interesting project to “place” the items we still possess in their original locations around the apartment. Uh oh! Do I see another book in my future??

This is the 8th post for Amy Johnson Crow’s 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge. This year, I am focusing on telling the story of “Our Stuff.”

Love My Collections- They’re “Food for My Soul”

This week will be kind of a “cheat week” for me. I’ve been fighting a low-grade fever which has impacted my ability to focus (aka “thinking and writing!) As would be expected around Valentine’s Day, the most recent prompt for the 52 Ancestors challenge was “love.” Now, Valentine’s Day is probably one of my most-disliked holidays; reserved for the young and the “newly in love.” Therefore, I will be writing about a different kind of love—my love of collecting!

Growing up, there never was a lot of extra money. But my mother truly believed in what she called “food for the soul.” These were the things that made being alive worth living. And, boy, did we collect! My mom subscribed to the “if one is good, a hundred is better” school of collecting. She also loved sets. I must admit I suffer from that affliction as well. Which is why I really struggled with the decision to end my subscriptions to a few dollhouse magazines. I have EVERY issue of two national magazines from their beginnings in 1976 through 2017. (I’ll save you the math – that’s approximately 984 issues! Anyone want to buy the collection???)

A portion of my miniature magazine collection.
I actually indexed every article from 1976-2002.
Too bad I used Microsoft Works - now defunct!!

I wrote extensively about the bond between my mom, minis, and me on this blog, back in 2014. A few weeks ago, I wrote about my various book collections. You might wonder what my first collection was.

Honestly, I can’t remember. I was always collecting dolls and related miniatures. I also collected stamps for a bit. After my parents divorced my father would take us (four girls) for a month during the summer. He instituted the “hobby” rule – everyone was to choose a hobby to work on (in their rooms) at least one hour a day. Genius! What a way to guarantee at least one quiet hour each day! Of course, I still have the albums!

My stamp collection. I especially love the contact-papered file boxes!!

I vaguely remember a time when I collected potato chips. I’m serious! I had come across one with an interesting shape. This was waaaaay before the ease of “phone photography,” so sadly, I don’t have any pictures. It was also before you could sell just about anything to anyone on eBay. At some point, I decided collecting greasy smelly food was disgusting (probably when the chips got moldy!) and gave that collection up.

Some of my collections have been thrust upon me – the slides, the “historic” family photos and documents, the linens from 1938 and before. And some I am “holding” for others (one of these days you folks really have to get this stuff!) – my brother’s GI Joe collection, my sister’s Dawn dolls, two full Rubbermaid containers of Kitty Cucumber and Lucy & Me figurines from the 1908s. (Those belong to my girls – a failed attempt to infect them with the “collecting” virus. Pretty sure they’ve already told me to let those go…)

I made this Scherenschnitte angel
a couple of years ago.

Whoops! Almost forgot about the craft-related collections!! Three drawers full of scrapbooking materials… at least 20 books of Scherenschnitte templates. At least I use these items occasionally.

And finally, although I’m sure I’ve left out a few collections, I’d like to present my paint-by-number collection. I was going to get rid of these, all painted during the 1970s, but I came across an article that said these iconic art projects were experiencing a resurgence. Seriously, the Smithsonian even created an exhibit about them in 2001!

Most of the pictures below were taken at my mother's house while we were clearing it out in 2012. I have a feeling the paintings are still there, which means Meg and Andy will be expecting me to remove them someday soon!!!

Still Lifes

Blue Jays

 

This little gem graced my mother's bathroom for years!
It's been laying on my bathroom counter since 2013, waiting to get hung!!

I made a brief foray into the worlds of painting on wood and pen and ink drawings. I don't seem to have a photo of the wood pictures, but here's a catalog listing! I did paint the top two scenes shown on the page.

The portrait of the little boy below is the “prized” item in my collection. I chose to paint this 16 x 18 picture as a tribute to the little brother we waited so long for! Yes, it looks nothing like my baby brother Dean, but I think of him everything I pass by this picture. It was quite an ordeal to complete. I messed up the left ear and actually wrote to the company. They sent me the ear section printed on tissue paper so I could repaint it!!

The Dilemma

I am now 64. I have read the articles about downsizing. I suffered the pain of clearing out my mom’s house in 2012. (Not just emotional pain – I couldn’t stand up straight for a week after my nephew and I cleaned out her attic!) I have watched Marie Kondo. I know what to do. I’m going to do it. Maybe. Partly. Sort of. These things still bring me joy (not sorry, Marie!) and “feed my soul” when I see them. Give me time. I’m working on it!

This is the 7th post for Amy Johnson Crow’s 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge. This year, I am focusing on telling the story of “Our Stuff.”

Surprises! Who is The Little Girl in the Photo – and Whose Bed Am I Sleeping In?

The prompt for the #52Ancestors challenge this week was “Surprise.” I planned on writing about why Scott and I were at the National Building Museum in Washington, DC last week, but as usual, another opportunity presented itself which is an even better match for the topic this week.

A Seeley Surprise

If you have been following my blog, you are aware that I just completed a book project about Scott’s great-grandmother, Catherine C. FitzAllen (That’s the name she chose. Her “original” name was Catherine Kenny Seeley.) There are several unanswered questions about her life (birth, marriage, a motive for her antics…) and I am always on the lookout for documents that may help. So, I was very happy to hear that Scott’s nephew, Greg and his wife, Kathryn, had found some old photo albums among the many family boxes they are storing. (Shout out to Greg and Kathryn for being such wonderful stewards. Not only have they been willing to store what is found, but they also pass the items along so the stories won’t be lost!)

We spent my birthday weekend together – great fun! But we also took some time to go through some family archives. So, it was with great hope that we opened up the aged, dried-out leather album. After pretty much destroying Kathryn’s white tablecloth, we had a few “nuggets” to treasure. (Word of advice: temper your excitement – take a minute to put an old towel or sheet under old albums before examining them!)

Among the images of people we didn’t know and places we couldn’t identify, were wonderful childhood photos of Catherine FitzAllen’s only grandchildren; Kathryn, John, and William “Bill” Holman. There were photos of Catherine’s daughter, Katherine “Kitty” Pearl, who married John “Jack” Holman.

Sadly, there were no pictures of Catherine’s older daughter, Ida Mae, but there was… surprise!... the only picture I have seen of Katherine and Ida’s half-sister, Ada Seeley!! What a great find!

Ada Seeley and her half-nephew, William "Bill" Holman - mid-1920s

There were also a few pictures of family in Albany, New York which verified the accuracy of some family relationships.

Keniston family in Albany, NY. Catherine's sister, Maria married a Dunn. Their daughter then married a Keniston. 

The best surprise was a few portraits from a photography studio in Albany. On the back of one is written, “two years, ten months.” I have been unable to verify the birthdate of Katherine Pearl, Catherine’s youngest daughter so this could be extremely helpful. I have scheduled a photo consultation with Maureen Taylor, the Photo Detective, during my visit to RootsTech at the end of the month. Hopefully, she will be able to assist me in making a determination!

Possibly Katherine "Kitty" Pearl SEELEY

Poor quality photo of Catherine C. FitzAllen (Catherine Kenny SEELEY).
Catherine is seated to the left of grandson William "Bill" HOLMAN.
Standing behind William is his mother, Katherine Pearl Seeley, youngest daughter of Catherine FitrzAllen.
Others are unknown. This was possibly taken on Catherine's farm in Illinois. Possibly 1914-1915

The Bed – A Holman Family Heirloom

And now, in keeping with this year’s theme of documenting “Our Stuff,” I share another surprise. For years, Holman family lore passed down the story of “the bed.” The four-poster bed (possibly mahogany?) has been moved around the country for years! 

This four-poster bed has been in the Holman family for more than a century!

According to the family story, Scott’s dad, William Winchester Holman was born in the bed. Bill was born on June 12, 1910, in the family home at 418 Oakdale Avenue in Chicago, Illinois. That makes the bed at least 108 years old. I’m betting his parents owned the bed since their marriage began, so that dates the bed back to 1900. Over the years, the bed “traveled” to Connecticut, back to Illinois, back to Connecticut, New York, Connecticut (again!), Nova Scotia, and Georgia, before settling in its newest home, North Carolina.

As I lay in the bed (new mattress, don’t freak out!) during our stay with Greg and Kathryn, a thought occurred to me—what if Bill’s mother brought the bed with her into the marriage? It is possible the bed actually belonged to her mother, the “infamous” Catherine C. FitzAllen. I lay there thinking, “What if Catherine did own this bed? Will she come and haunt me?” It took all I had not to climb under and around the bed to look for identifying marks. I did ask Greg who said there weren’t any clues as to where the bed was made. Hmmm…. another mystery to add to my list. For now, we will have to remain content with the knowledge that this family story is accurate; the bed is at least more than a century old! Thank you, Greg and Kathryn, for giving it such a beautiful home in the “Lackey Bedroom.”

This is the 6th post for Amy Johnson Crow’s 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge. This year, I am focusing on telling the story of “Our Stuff.”

At the library – Literally!

                                                         

The blog prompt for this week’s 52 Ancestors challenge is “At the library.” I planned on writing about my connection to all things “library-ish,” but I found myself actually at the largest library in the world on Saturday – the Library of Congress in Washington, DC!

Scott and I drove into DC this weekend to deliver some items I’m donating to the National Building Museum (I'll be writing about that in my next post!) After visiting several really interesting exhibits at the NBM, we found ourselves with some extra time. We were with our sister-in-law, Wendy, who suggested we might enjoy visiting the Library of Congress. Check out the biggest library in the world? Yes, thank you!! (Not to mention how well matched that was to this week’s prompt!)

Coincidentally, I had just completed a webinar[1] about doing research in Washington, so it was also a good opportunity to put some of my new learning into practice. What an amazing building! I won’t go into the details here, as you can visit the LOC website yourself to learn more about it.[2]  But I will share some photos Scott took.

Looking up at the largest library in the world -
The Library of Congress!

Wouldn't you just love to spend
the day in this Reading Room?

Now on to my “originally scheduled” blog subject for this week:

I Could Have Been a Librarian

I always loved books. I remember reading by flashlight under my covers, long past my supposed bedtime. My mother never was concerned about my lack of sleep, but she definitely didn’t appreciate the cracker crumbs found in my bed after a night of reading-snacking!

Notice I wrote, “I always loved books.” Not “I always loved reading.” I did love to read but I as I got older (and busier) I found myself reading less and less. On the flip side, my fondness for books remained constant. Coupled with my passion for collecting, it’s not surprising that I own a lot of books. Unlike George Vanderbilt (of Biltmore Mansion fame), who read an average of 81 books a year, I haven’t read most of the books I own.[3] I just like collecting them!!

As a child, I created a “traveling library.” I would pile my books in a wagon and pull them around my neighborhood, lending the books to the neighbor kids. And, yes, I cataloged them! I taped little numbers to the spines and made a card catalog in order to keep track of my books. Each book had a scrap of paper taped inside the back cover where I would use the date stamp my mom bought me to stamp the return date for my “patrons.” I’m pretty sure I also had a fine system set up for those late returns!

In high school, I was a member of the Library Club.

That's me in the front row - the "shortie" in the center!
I remember that outfit - I made it from wide-wale brown
corduroy. Stylin' !

But at some point, I decided on a career as a high school English teacher rather than become a librarian. I don’t even remember how I came to change my mind on that. I do, however, vividly remember why I decided against being an English teacher. I was sitting in my freshman English class at Southern Connecticut State College, now Southern Connecticut State University. The professor was going on and on, asking us “Why did the author (of some story... ) write about a red rose? Why did the author choose red? Why not choose a different color?” All I could think was “Who friggin’ cares what color the rose was?” Then I thought, “This is so boring! There is no way I can do this the rest of my life!!” 

And, that was the end of my dream of becoming a really cool English teacher. I wasn’t going to be like Mr. Kotter, from the TV show Welcome Back, Kotter! Or even like Mr. Gerosa, the super-cool English teacher at our local high school.

While my passion for “deep-reading” never materialized, my love of books endured. In a fruitless attempt to inspire the same love of books in my students, I followed a suggestion from a workshop I attended; share your favorite books with your students—show them the books, tell them why these books are so important to you. According to the workshop presenter, your passion will become infectious and your students will be inspired to find favorite books of their own. Um. Nope.

Maybe it was my selection of books that left them less than enthused. Let me share them with you:

Slovenly Peter: This is actually a translated version of Der Struwelpeter, a book of German cautionary tales for children. The stories are actually quite frightening, featuring children who don't do as told and suffer horrible consequences!

The book at the lower right is Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle. Writing this I realize this book has a theme quite similar to Slovenly Peter. The book contains short stories about stubborn children. The one that sticks in my memory is the little girl who wouldn't take a bath. She became so dirty, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle planted radishes on her!

A more pleasant book is I Can Fly. Not only does this book tell the story of a little girl who could be anything she wanted, but there was also a song to sing printed inside!

Three of my favorite books from my childhood

My Book Collections

Many of the books from my childhood were lost in a flood in my mother’s basement. I brought home the “survivors” and added them to the books I collected as an adult. Over the years, I have put together several different book collections. Sadly, as often happens, a few have been sitting in boxes for years. This is a great opportunity for me to review these collections and begin to think about dispersing my “hoard.” For now, I’ll settle for simply listing the categories. In the future, I’ll take Marian Burk Wood’s advice and begin indexing them.[4] (As a good “librarian” should 😉) Should any of these appeal to you, let me know! I’m ready to let them go!! Lists furnished upon request!!🤣

Antique Textbooks – all earlier than 1900

Some of my antique schoolbooks
are housed on this shelf in our dining room.
The little figure on the top shelf (far left) is a
character from Der Struwelpeter

Reading Books from the 1960s

We used to call these basal readers.
These are the books those of us "of a certain age"
used in grammar school.

Dollhouse and doll books

These represent only about 10% of the dollhouse books I own.

Little Golden Books

It will fun going through this box! Lots of memories!!

Books belonging to my Ancestors, My Favorite Childhood Books, 

and Antique Children’s books

Books in these categories are scattered among various
shelves. Here's a nice view of an area that
needs serious organizing!

 Books from Our Daughters’ Childhood Days

When our kids were little, we belonged to at least three different book clubs. The books on the far right are from the Sweet Pickles book club. If I remember correctly, there was a plastic bus you could store them in!

Just two boxes of books belonging to our daughters.
There's at least four more! 

I have no idea how many more there are on shelves!

Read Me a Book, Omi?

Jack's current favorites.

My four-year-old grandson shares my love of books. (His mom is a reader as well!) Whenever I visit, one of our favorite pastimes is for me to read to him. I swear that boy could listen to stories for hours! Recently, we discovered that we can have a very effective story-time session even 2000 miles away using FaceTime. I now have a little stash of books ready for whenever he calls. (Of course, from the books I saved from our girls’ childhoods.) 

There’s something really special about knowing he loves the same stories I read to his mom 30 years earlier. It’s a little tricky holding the phone over the book’s page (so Jack can see the illustrations) and reading as I go along, but it works fairly well. Our last session lasted about 40 minutes and included 5 books! I had to finally call an end because: 1) my phone battery was dying and 2) I really had to pee!

In a few weeks, I’ll be visiting another sister-in-law who is a real librarian. We will be going through my box of Little Golden Books – such fun!!!! Maybe she will volunteer to catalog my collection!!

This is the 5th post for Amy Johnson Crow’s 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge. This year, I am focusing on telling the story of “Our Stuff.”

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[1] What Would You Do If You Had Five Days in Washington, DC?, Pamela Boyer Sayre, CG, CGL (,https://familytreewebinars.com)

[2] https://www.loc.gov/

[3] https://www.biltmore.com/blog/article/on-the-shelves-of-george-vanderbilts-library

[4] https://www.amazon.com/Planning-Future-Your-Familys-Past/dp/1539124428