52 Ancestors - Week # 52 - Resolutions (Or Not...)

Every year I say “My resolution is to not make any resolutions." But then I can’t help myself.  I did a pretty good job this past year on the blog.  Counting this post I will have posted 49 out of 52 weeks. I also kept pretty close to my aim of writing about my generation each week. Luckily my family gives me plenty of content to work with!

52 Ancestors #51 - 2018 - A “Nice” Year- Genealogically and Otherwise

As I write this, many people, including one of my closest friends, are praying that 2018 hurries up and disappears. They need and deserve, 2019 to be better. I’m taking this opportunity to express my thanks that 2018 was really pretty nice to me. Sure, there were some trials in our family. For example, our daughter’s house experienced a flood requiring them to live in alternate housing for more than 3 months. Two of my sisters struggle nearly every day with health issues; one is challenged with fibromyalgia, the other has a spouse experiencing declining health. Another sister is raising a child on the autism spectrum (and I should add she and her husband are doing so with amazing strength and humor!) A niece is facing serious health concerns with the charm and grace she has always shown. I’m sure I have left out several others, and to them, I apologize in advance. My personal life, however, was pretty darn nice in 2018.

52 Ancestors - #50 - "Naughty" Ancestors Are the Most Fun!!

The blog prompt for Week # 26 of Amy Johnson Crow's 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks was "Black Sheep." I wrote about Scott's great-grandmother, Catherine Seeley Fitzallen that week. She was most decidedly a "black ewe", quite naughty and quite the character! As part of that post, I included the first chapter of the book I was writing about Catherine's adult life.

I am pleased to announce I have FINALLY finished that project!! I spent more than three years tracking down information and "following" Catherine from New Canaan, CT to Albany, NY to Kansas, Missouri, and finally Chicago, Illinois.

So excited to see the finished product!
Available at lulu.com

I learned so much throughout the process of writing this book. Perhaps the most important "take away" was realizing how important it is to look beyond the facts of a person's life. Some people simply add relatives to their tree - names and a few dates of vital events. As I have mentioned, probably numerous times, I prefer to look at the person's entire life - who were they really? Most times the story is uneventful - birth, marriage, work life, death. But then, there are those relatives whose lives were a bit more colorful. Okay, maybe even criminal. Should I tell that story?

I struggled with that question in my post, Is Insanity Hereditary?  Whether to tell the stories of our "naughty" ancestors is hotly debated in the genealogy community. We are always thrilled to take credit for the positive contributions of our ancestors - sometimes as if we accomplished the "good deed" ourselves. But... those "bad deeds." Sweep it under the rug. Keep those skeletons in the closet.

It doesn't really make sense to me. Or even seem fair. If we take credit for the "good" our ancestors did, shouldn't we also take credit for the bad? Maybe that's where the concept of reparations comes from. (Stay tuned to this blog for my next project - the story of my great-grandfather's struggle to get reparations for the loss of his business when Hitler annexed Austria in 1938.)

Obviously, living descendants should be considered when sharing some stories. Divulging the fact that "Uncle Xavier" had a mistress might result in serious implications, especially if there was a child involved. (Example given is only for descriptive purposes. I don't think we even have an Uncle Xavier!)

I became involved with family history because I wanted my children and their descendants to know who we are. Knowing where you come from can help a person feel connected. Years ago, when I taught genealogy to my high school students, I saw "the lights go on" as they discovered parallels between their ancestors' lives and their own.  However, it's more than just knowing you are 75% this or 35% that. It's the things people did, the choices they made - WHO THEY WERE - that can help us understand WHO WE ARE.  (Have you noticed the name of this blog??) Yes - they may have made some bad choices. We can learn from that. Especially if their bad choices negatively affected our own lives. But, here's the thing- those were their choices. What my ancestors chose to do was a reflection on them, not me. How I choose to interpret their choices and how I allow their choices to affect me, is on me. 

So, I will continue to chronicle our history, as compassionately as possible. From what I've experienced our "naughty" ancestors have the best stories.


Thanks to Amy Johnson Crow for the Week 50 blog prompt "Naughty."

52 Ancestors - Week #49 - Winter!!!!!

Last week's 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks blog prompt was "Winter." Enjoy this TBT (Throwback Thursday) collection of some "winter gems."

Above is the backyard of my childhood home. Probably mid-1960s. You can't even see the houses anymore due to tree growth!

The photo below is one of my favorites! Little sister, Betsy is definitely enjoying herself. Brother Dean - not so much!! In December 1964 he was only two months old!!!  By the way, the "Cannonball Express" was purchased at the Hamden Firestone store. That's where my Mom met Alfie! Doesn't the train look great? Now fast forward a few years. That thing stayed outside 24/7 and turned to rust!

Below - later that winter - March 1965. Hanging out with the neighborhood kids. And people say I don't go outside!! That's me, right behind Betsy, wearing the light blue jacket. I just turned 10 the month before.

My sister Kathy wanted to learn to ski - she got skis for Christmas 1966 (found that out while organizing another folder!) Wonder how that worked out?

The picture below was taken in April 1968! That's New England for you!! Look, I'm outside again! Thanks to my sister Jeanne for shoveling! I wouldn't have wanted to ruin those fashionable gloves!

And below is proof is that I don't hate dogs (all the time... ) I'm posing with our crazy mutt, Rodney - March 1970. 

Here are few more recent pics of Winter in Connecticut.

A brutal storm in 2010 caused this Larch tree to topple. It had been a fixture in
the front yard of my Mom's house for 51 years.

The record-breaking storm in January 2011 was enjoyed by
Scott and our first "grandson", Hudson who was visiting from
Colorado.

This is what I was treated to on my birthday in February 2013. I would have gone outside, 

but I think the snow was up to my neck!!

With a little luck, maybe we won't see too much of this guy this winter.

And... finally... if Scott had his way (along with a crapload of money) here's where HE would be spending this upcoming winter:

Hotel El Ganzo - San Jose' del Cabo, Mexico

Hmm....maybe he's got the right idea?????

52 Ancestors - Week #46 - Seven Years, Seven Decades, Seven Random Thoughts

It seems appropriate, on this, the seventh anniversary of my mother’s passing, to share a bit about her.

Doris May Lichtenthal was born on March 5, 1932. She left this earth after, in her words, “finishing her job,” on December 2, 2011. Mom was 79. For more than seven decades, she dedicated herself to family life.

Decade Number One: 1932-1942

1938 Passport Photo

Without a doubt, the single most important event of this decade occurred in June 1938, when Doris, her mother, and beloved grandmother left Vienna, Austria to start anew in America. Only six years old, Doris had no real idea of the crisis which precipitated their departure. She knew her father was “away” (in a concentration camp), but she was focused on getting one of her early wishes, “to go to America and listen to Jazz.”

Alan and Doris on their wedding day - 1953

Decade Number Two: 1943-1953

Part of her master plan to have “smart, talented, good-looking kids” was achieved when she married Alan Samuel on June 28, 1953. She got the smart and talented but I’m not so sure about the good-looking! (Sorry, sibs—speaking about myself here!)

Decade Number Three: 1954-1964

Doris completed her “master plan” on October 1, 1964, when her one and only son, Dean Laurence Falcone was born. She had to marry a new guy (Al Falcone) to get the son she always wanted, but “whatever!”

Dean and Mom - approx 1968

Decade Number Four: 1965-1975

I’m pretty sure my mother wouldn’t even remember this decade of her life! She was the “consummate” Mom – cooking, cleaning (as little as she could get away with), crafting and carting (driving us everywhere!) We five kids kept her busy! Her most often quoted phrases from that time include, “I haven’t slept a whole night since 1955.” - the year of my birth. When asked what she would like as a gift, Mom always replied, “A little piece of quiet.” Yeah- how'd that work out?

Decade Number Five: 1976-1986

This was a really rough period for my mom. In 1979, she was first diagnosed with a serious skin disease, Pemphigus. It almost killed her. After several hospitalizations, the disease stabilized, but the side effects of the meds affected both Mom physically and emotionally. She never really got over having to stop dying her hair and gaining weight due to the meds. If I had been as beautiful as she was, I would have felt the same way.

Granddaughter Mia's love
 for her Omi is "infinite"

Decade Number Six: 1987-1997

No “failure to launch” here. By this decade, all of Doris’ children were “grown” and on their own - with a few lapses here and there! Mom could have finally taken time for herself, but instead, she helped take care of her grandchildren! I will always be thankful for the support of “Omi” and I know her grandchildren cherish that time as well. (I only hope I can be half the Omi, she was!! She left some pretty big shoes to fill.)

Decade Number Seven: 1998- 2008

During this decade, Doris lost her husband (May 24, 2004.) Despite being on her own, Mom found the resources to remain in her home. A treasured family tradition, Christmas Eve at Omi’s still continues to this day. Even when the day comes that we celebrate in another place, Mom’s baked treats will hold the family together, forever!

Linzer cookies were a tribute to Omi
at Granddaughter Meghan's' 2014 wedding.

The Last Years

One of the last pics of Mom and her "brood."

Sadly, Mom’s last few years were marked by multiple hospitalizations, surgeries and nursing home stays. But, through it all her mind stayed sharp and her antics kept us entertained. For instance, the day she called me not five minutes after I left the nursing home, begging me to return as soon as possible because she needed help. I rushed back, only to have her declare the food at the Arden House was “IN-edible!”

Thinking back over all she endured, I am in awe of the way she lived her life. A role model to us all – including my stepbrother and stepsisters and her cherished grandchildren.

Mom, I’m looking forward to making your traditional Linzer cookies again this year. Hopefully, no one will declare them “inedible!”

Thanks to Amy Johnson Crow for the 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks blog prompt, Random Fact.