Wednesday, October 31, 2018

52 Ancestors - #44- Halloween in "Paradise Hills"


I am jumping ahead a few weeks so that this post appears on Halloween. Much more timely than staying in order and posting this during the week of Thanksgiving!! (I'm a bit behind on posts for Amy Johnson Crow's 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks blog challenge!)

I thought you might enjoy seeing a few of my favorite Halloween photos from years past. The first photo was taken Halloween afternoon, 1965 in Paula's Goddard's yard. Our little suburban neighborhood was called "Paradise Hills." It probably should have been called "Peyton Place", but that's a subject for another day! (Sorry to you "young 'uns" who have no idea what I am talking about.)


I wish I knew who all these kids are! I'm the "Wishnik" (troll) on the far right.
The woman on the left was our Brownie leader, Mrs. Civitello

Year unknown, but I'm pretty sure that is my sister, Jeanne disguised as "Cousin It."

Slightly blurry shot of the neighbor kids. 1969
I'm the "old lady" on the left in the back row. To my right is Jackie Mendillo.
Sister Betsy is the witch. The boys in the front are Bobby Silver and my brother, Dean.


1960-Something. Bobby Silver and brother, Dean. That's Philip Lendroth behind Dean. Hobos were big that year!!
1972- You might think this was a Halloween pic, but it probably was just another day in the life of Dean Falcone!


This isn't a Halloween picture, but it's one of my favorite sibling pics!!!
Our grandparents brought these costumes back from their trip to Hawaii.
Left-to-right: Jeanne, me, Kathy
Probably 1964ish

Hope you enjoyed these! Growing up, Halloween and St. Patrick's Day were my favorite holidays. Since I'm not Irish anymore (Thanks, DNA!!) guess that leaves me with Halloween!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

52 Ancestors - #40 - My 5th Grade Year

Ten. A decade. The first whole number with more than one digit. “Ten” is the prompt for Week 40 of Amy Johnson Crow’s 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks blog challenge. It seems like a great opportunity to share a little about my tenth year of life.

In 1965, I was 10 years old and in the 5th grade at Bear Path School in Hamden. That year was quite significant for me. That was the year when I really began to understand how short I truly was. I knew I was shorter than most kids my age. (I wasn’t blind!) In fact, in 2nd grade, I told my mother that “The higher kids say I’m a small fry and they want to boil me!” (Thanks, Mom for keeping such good records in my baby book!)
Here's a terrible scan of a slide from 1965.
I'm pictured with my best friend at the time, Debbie Colliander.
I'm the short one, in case you weren't sure!!
 But, it was in my 10th year of life that it became more noticeable. The other kids were starting to sprout – making the height gap more obvious than ever. There was another girl in my class who was also short, though not as short as I. She was beginning to get growth hormone shots and her mom was discussing that with my mom as an option for me. So – my grandmother (my father’s mother) paid for bone scan x-rays and some other tests to try and determine a possible cause for my petite stature and whether taking growth hormones would be a good plan. It should be noted that I am the only short person in my biological family. It should also be noted that my father was quite short as a young boy and didn’t start his growth spurt until the age of 18.

The results of the medical tests were “just doggone short, for no reason.” Pretty sure that’s not how it was written on the actual report, but that’s how I remember it. Hey - I was 10! Just so you can get some perspective here, on October 19, 1965, I was a whopping 47 ½” tall. The height of an average 10-year-old is 54½”. I guess 7 inches was considered significant. (Full disclosure – 53 years later, I’m now 57” – a full 10 inches taller!)  

What made my 5th-grade year so prominent in my memory? Yes, there were some health concerns. I was plagued with frequent bloody noses. I have a vivid memory of sitting in the back of the classroom, holding my head back while class went on around me. That year I was also diagnosed with “screamer’s nodules.” Yes – that’s a real thing!!! I tended to develop polyps on my vocal chords which caused my voice to become raspy. The “cure” was to stop talking for at least 24 hours until the nodules became smaller. If you know me at all, you have a good sense of how tough that was for me!! My explanation for this malady was that because I was so short, I had to speak more loudly (and more frequently?) in order to get noticed. I still get flare-ups, especially the first few days of a new class term, when I do a lot more talking than usual.

It was in my 5th-grade year that I had my first boy-crush. His name was Kevin. He was pretty cute. I don’t have a picture because he moved away after that year. Kevin was my “knight in shining armor.” Some girl was drawing mean pictures of me (the content of which I don’t even remember.) Kevin took the pictures and ripped them up right in front of her! We had a “whirlwind romance” which consisted of me visiting his apartment on Mix Avenue where he kissed me outside his basement window!

But, the main reason 5th-grade sticks out in my memory is my teacher. Mrs. Knox. I think she liked me. Sometimes, it was hard to tell. She did make me stand me in the closet with gum on my nose because I was chewing in class. To be fair, she did that to anyone caught chewing gum. She always called me “Peanut.” Pretty sure it was a term of endearment, but it didn’t help me fit into the group of “normal” kids. But, I loved her. She is probably my favorite teacher, other than Mrs. Karacsonyi, my German teacher in high school.

Mrs. Knox saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself. Something I really didn’t fully appreciate until recently. I am a writer. I wrote a story that year about a Japanese girl and a snake. Sadly, I can’t remember anything else about it. I kept the story, written and illustrated on that weird little arithmetic paper, for years. Until the mice at my mother’s house devoured it. Mrs. Knox made quite a fuss over my little “book.” She had me read it to the entire class. She told me I was a good writer. No one (other than my mom) had ever told me I was good at anything until then. She even commented on it on my report card! One would think that might have been a turning point for me – that I would take her praise and start writing like crazy. Um. Nope.

My 5th-grade report card. 


Mrs. Knox had such faith in me, I was promoted to the “accelerated 6th-grade” class. My success was short-lived (Ha! Pun intended. I think.) The notes by Mrs. Jomini on my 6th-grade report card declared that “lack of effort is responsible for Deborah’s drop in grades.” The disappointing “poor report card for ability” reinforced my opinion that I wasn’t as smart as the other kids. (Telling a kid to “try harder” really doesn’t work. IMHO, most kids aren’t honest enough with themselves to admit they aren’t putting enough effort into their work.) My struggles in 6th grade continued into junior high and my self-esteem plummeted.

1966 Bear Path School 6th grade class. Can you find me?
I'm the short girl on the left, not much taller than my friend, Nancy who is sitting down, and a full head-and-neck shorter than Jon standing behind me!
Mrs. Jomini is wearing a red dress and standing behind Jon.

I was angry with my 6th-grade teacher for years. But, hard as it is to admit, she was right. It took me years to realize that I had a pretty good brain. And that it didn’t require much more effort on my part to use it well. I just had to figure out the best way for me learn. I am a visual learner. My auditory skills are quite weak. Once I learned to take better notes on what the teacher was saying, my grades really improved!

I am a writer. I write almost every day. Since 2010, I have authored a family recipe book, a book about the two years my mother spent in Japan, worked with my sister-in-law to update my father-in-law’s family history, co-authored a book on dollhouse furniture, and most recently have almost completed a two-year project writing about my husband’s great-grandmother. Oh – and this blog!


So – thank you, Mrs. Knox. It took me a long time to see in myself what you saw in your tiny 10-year-old student. I don’t know what happened to you or where you are now, but I hope you knew how much impact you had.

Saturday, October 20, 2018

52 Ancestors - #39 - Grandpa's Farm

My parents were “city folk.” My mother was born in the beautiful city of Vienna, Austria and emigrated to the New York City suburb of New Rochelle in 1938. My father, Alan Samuel, was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York before moving to New Rochelle where he met, then married my mother. (She actually did marry the “boy next door!”) Following a short stint in Japan, (Dad was in the Navy), they settled in the city of New Haven, Connecticut in 1958. In 1959, we moved to the suburban town of Hamden. By 1961, my parents separated. My father moved to New Haven, then in the mid-1960s he and his second wife emigrated to Toronto, Canada where he would spend the remaining years of his life.

Other than Mom loving her gardens and Dad digging a brook trench in the backyard of our Hamden home, I never thought of them as “outside people.” So, I was quite surprised when my father and his third wife purchased 50 acres of farmland in a little town about an hour away from Toronto.

Google satellite image of the farm, You get a sense of the length of the driveway from this photo.

I don’t know the exact circumstances of the purchase (somewhere in the early 70s, I think), but my father told me he had always wanted to own a farm, that he loved being able to “work the land.” O.K. I always thought of my father as an “academic.” In fact, the only “hands-on” thing I ever knew about him was a story my mother told me - he smashed a hole in the foundation of our house in order to create a window in the basement. They ended up having to purchase a custom-made window since he never measured the hole first!!

Anyway – back to the farm. In the beginning, Dad and Valerie only stayed on the farm during weekends and summers when Dad wasn’t teaching. Eventually, he retired to the farm full-time, hoping to make a go of the land by growing and selling Christmas trees. In 1987, he built a kennel and Valerie opened her business, Guelphline Kennels, where she bred and sold Labrador Retrievers. (We were the proud owners of one of her pups, who we named Magnum) 

Valerie captioned this July 1987 photo.
"Alan is building him and others a kennel-see how appreciative the pup is."


Dad and Valerie weren’t just creating a farm, they were also creating a family. Within a few years, they adopted a boy and two girls (names withheld for privacy reasons) who would become my 9th, 10th, and 11th siblings.

So – that’s the back story. Let me share a few of my memories of visiting the farm, which I’m sure are quite different from those of siblings who lived on the farm full-time.

My first memory of visiting the farm was the summer of 1974. Things weren’t going well for Richard Nixon at the time. I have a vivid memory of my father trying to rig up some kind of antennae for the tiny TV so we could watch Nixon’s resignation on the news.

My next memory probably was the same summer. Valerie took me aside and informed me that should I ever find myself “accidentally pregnant”, she and my father would be happy to raise the child. I guess they really did want a family together!! I was just 19 at the time, by the way.

The log cabin was really quite rustic in the beginning. There was nothing really separating the sleeping areas from the bathing area upstairs and the first floor was basically an open space with a small kitchen on one wall.

The land was very overgrown. A long dirt driveway led (and still does – see satellite photo above) into the property from the main road. I have a vague (and frightening) memory of waking up in the bushes alongside the driveway. I had fallen asleep while driving the long trip from Connecticut and went off the road! On the right side of the driveway was (and still is, I believe) a rusty building that served as a pig barn. Just past the cabin was/is a large barn for storing equipment. Behind the barn was/is the pond. More about that later.

After living in very rustic (aka “barely livable”) conditions, Dad upgraded the cabin. He built the chimney for the fireplace himself (Oh! Just remembered – he did build a gorgeous rock wall after terracing our Hamden home’s backyard. See – that’s why we write these stories down. Looking back now, I guess he really was an “outside” boy.) Ambient heating was installed under the first-floor tiles to keep the room cozier in the winter. Most importantly, an addition was built that housed a brand-new kitchen and living room space and several bedrooms and bathrooms.

My memory is a little sketchy on timelines. (Total disclosure – it’s a little sketchy, period!) At one point, in the 70s, my mom and stepdad visited the farm. It was the one time we all were at the farm at the same time. (“We” included my brother who is the child of my mom and step-dad.)
1970-something. Left-to-Right: My Mom-Doris, my stepdad-Alife, my stepmother-Valerie, and my Dad-Alan

Left-to-Right: Dad, sister Betsy, Valerie, me, sister Kathy, sister Jeanne, Valerie's son. In fromt: brother Dean.

The pond in 1970-something
Fast forward to October 1986. That would be the next time I visited the farm. Our daughter, Caitlin was one-and-a-half years old. For the previous ten years or so I had only rare contact with Dad. (He did come to my wedding in 1983 with all his kids though!) Now that Dad was a grandfather, it seemed a good idea to try and build a relationship. I must admit he was ready for that! Probably a subject for a separate post, but Dad really enjoyed being Grandpa! 

Going up to Canadian Thanksgiving that year was a lot of fun! (Except for the pot-bellied pig who ate Caitlin’s cereal!) According to pictures, my sisters Betsy and Kathy were there as well! My favorite memory from the Thanksgiving meal was my father’s discovery of the pan of stuffing in the oven – as we were washing up the dishes after dinner!

Dad, flanked by Betsy on the left and Kathy on the right.


Scott in 1986! Perfectly dressed for farm life!! Isn't that a great picture?

In the summer of 1987, I made a return trip to the farm with Caitlin, accompanied by my sister, Kathy and my friend, Lois. Caitlin enjoyed the big red tub and had loads of fun with the kids.

1987 - Dad's three kids in between my sister Kathy on the right and myself and Caitlin on the right.
Nice view of the pond through the window.

1987 - Lois, me, and Kathy. Yup - That's a Green Party T-Shirt right there!!

We made a few return trips over the next few years especially after our second daughter, Meghan was born. The pond was always a fun spot. Until Dad told us there were leeches in the water. I’ve pretty much blocked out the day we emerged from our dip in the pond and discovered the “attachments” on our bodies!

The most memorable visit was in 2007. My father was turning 75 and he wanted to have all his children in one place at the same time. The farm was the perfect location. Everyone, with one exception, attended. (I’ll be writing about that event in a future post) Suffice to say, it was a somewhat healing experience. And the last time I saw my father at his home. He passed away just a year later on August 15, 2008, after a lengthy battle with pancreatic cancer.

2007

2007 - Family reunion for Dad's 75th birthday. It's so sad to see how many people have passed since this pictire was taken/

2007 - Grandpa and his most of his grandchildren!
Following my father’s death, there was concern about what would happen with the farm. His wife had passed away a few years earlier and the three children who called the farm their childhood home had differing opinions. In the end, the youngest daughter and her husband bought out her siblings and they now own the farm, which is now a protected area. As stated on the website of the Ontario Farmland Trust   “Made possible by the dedication and generosity of the late Mr. Alan Samuel and his wife, the late Valerie Stevens, as well as their children, the easement protects the property’s unique agricultural and natural features in perpetuity."


While we only visited a few times, I know our children have fond memories of their holidays at Grandpa’s farm. 

Be sure to check my previous post about my dad to view a gorgeous photo of the farm taken by my sister, photographer Kristen Samuel-Stevens.

Thanks to Amy Johnson Crow's 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks blog challenge for this week's topic, "On the Farm."

Monday, October 15, 2018

52 Ancestors - #38 Yes- We Definitely Have Some Unusual Items!!

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you have realized I have a lot of stuff. What may seem like useless ephemera to some is most certainly a genealogical treasure to me. You may recall my post on the ashes I found in my mother’s attic. That find allowed me to make a few connections on my uncle’s tree. Six years later, I still have the ashes, carefully encased in the knotted handkerchief. At some point, I will try to reunite Mania Nebenzahl with her descendants.

Despite attending several workshops and reading an entire book on downsizing written by Marian Burk Wood, I still can’t part with some of my “unusual” items. [1]

Prompted by the topic for Week #38 of Amy Johnson Crow’s 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks blog challenge, let me share with you another item in our “genealogical treasure chest.”

My Grandfather’s Urology Reports From 1930 and 1931.

By the way, I did translate these. All I got from them was his counts on certain levels were "somewhat low."


Now, most people would have tossed these out immediately upon finding them among their family papers. I felt like I should do the same. But. I just can’t do it. A couple of years ago, I posted my dilemma to a Facebook group. Most people said, “Digitize then toss.” So, I digitized the reports. 

Then, I did not toss them.

I attended a talk given by Devon Noel Lee of Family History Fanatics at RootsTech 2018.[2] There, I learned about a helpful “test” to help determine whether an item is worth keeping.





Keep- It’s “Genealogical Gold”, if:
  •     It’s original
  •        It’s unique
  •        It’s highly sentimental






Don’t Keep- It’s “Chrome Plastic*”, if:
  •       Copies are available
  •        It’s available online
  •        It’s of limited sentimental value

*chrome plastic: looks valuable, but it's not



Made a lot of sense, so I “ran” the “test” on the items featured in this post.
  • It’s original. CHECK.
  • It’s unique. CHECK. (Pretty sure no one else has one!!)
  • It’s highly sentimental. UM. HMMM. WELL. I know it shouldn’t be sentimental. But… it is to me!!

Not surprisingly, I kept the original reports. 

I’d like to suggest a couple more items for the “Genealogical Gold” category:

  •        It’s part of a collection
    • Not only do I have the two reports, I also have a prescription from the same lab. (Did my grandfather not get it filled?) I also have some sort of document from a “sanitorium” dated 1935. Perhaps he was admitted there for treatment? So – a collection, right?
  •        It might be a clue to a story.
    •  My grandparents got married in 1930. Was this test part of a health exam in preparation for marriage? My grandfather died at work of a heart attack in 1959. He was only 58 years old. Did this “illness” (whatever it was) contribute to his weak heart? I haven’t done a lot of work on that branch, yet. What if these reports are part of a larger story?

There. I feel better. I think my two additions are quite plausible. And they certainly justify my decision to keep those urology reports!



[1] Read my review of “Planning a Future for Your Family’s Past” here: https://whoweareandhowwegotthisway.blogspot.com/2018/02/52-ancestors-week-nine-where-theres-will.html

[2] https://whoweareandhowwegotthisway.blogspot.com/2018/03/rootstech-2018-day-one-is-done.html

Thursday, October 11, 2018

52 Ancestors - #37 - What??? My Zodiac Sign Has Changed???

Week #37 of Amy Johnson Crow’s 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks blog challenge was “Closest to Your Birthday.” I was planning on writing about some of my favorite birthday memories but I recently was made aware of some disturbing news. I AM NO LONGER AN AQUARIUS!

The other night one of my students asked me how to pronounce “Ophiuchus.” I’m generally pretty good at figuring out tough words, but that one had me stumped. “O-fi-u-kus?” “Af-i-u-kus?” So, I suggested we google it. I also asked her what it meant. (Yes- she was supposed to be doing her online work… but learning is learning, right?) Turns out, the word is pronounced “ah-fee-yuh-cuss” and is the world’s new horoscope sign.

Since “they” shoved this sign right into existing 12 signs (Ophiuchus: Nov 29 – Dec 17), all the zodiac signs have now shifted. Instead of identifying as Aquarius as I have my entire life, I now find myself being declared a Capricorn! Oh no, you don’t!  As my student and I were discussing this, another student became so anxious about losing her “identity,” she couldn’t even focus on her lesson. I decided to research this shocking news.

Apparently, we were a few years late learning the news! The original announcement was made in September 2016 when NASA explained that when the Babylonians created the zodiac, they wanted the dates on the calendar to correspond with the star constellations. [1]  But, there were 13 constellations and only 12 months on the calendar. So, they just ignored Ophiuchus. [2]  (Probably because it was the hardest to pronounce!)

Whatever will I do? Nothing. My zodiac sign didn’t change –the constellations just shifted.[3] In fact, NASA acknowledges astronomy and astrology are not the same. While the actual constellations have shifted, Western astrology follows a different system, which uses “artificial” constellations.[4]

As quoted from an update to a post from Glamour magazine:
Settle down, everyone. It seems your zodiac signs are as they've always been. In a statement to Gizmodo, NASA clarified … “We didn’t change any Zodiac signs, we just did the math,” NASA spokesperson Dwayne Brown said. “The Space Place article was about how astrology is not astronomy, how it was a relic of ancient history, and pointed out the science and math that did come from observations of the night sky.” Basically, NASA was merely pointing out why the astrological signs would likely be different if they were created today—because of a wobble in the Earth's axis, the constellations our signs were based on are no longer in the same spots—and what the heck those Babylonians were thinking when they assigned us all stars signs thousands of years ago. Everything is right with the world. Carry on.[5]
Whew! Thank goodness I don’t have to learn to accept a new identity! Because I surely don’t possess the traits of a Capricorn!!

Just out of curiosity, I put up a poll on my Facebook page with two descriptions labeled simply #1 (which was Capricorn) and #2 (which was Aquarius.) I asked people to determine which of the two best describes me. The results of this completely unscientific poll confirmed my suspicions:  89% of respondents chose Aquarius. 

Whew! After a brief scare, I can now rest easy. I am IN FACT an Aquarius!!



[1] https://spaceplace.nasa.gov/starfinder2/en/Here’s one source for the announcement:
[2] https://www.today.com/popculture/your-life-lie-zodiac-has-changed-here-s-your-new-t103295
[3] http://astrostyle.com/ophiuchus-nasa-new-star-signs/
[4] http://astrostyle.com/zodiac-sign-change-nasa-wrong/
[5] https://www.glamour.com/story/the-zodiac-signs-are-all-changing-according-to-nasa

Saturday, October 6, 2018

52 Ancestors -Weeks 35 and 36 - Finding Job Patterns In My Family

Continuing with this year’s theme of chronicling my generation, I am combining two weeks of Amy Johnson Crow’s blog challenge 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks. Week #35 was "Back to School" and Week #36 was "Work."

The combination is obvious, considering my work IS school (teaching school, that is!) Recently, in my Careers class, I was discussing Family Job Trees. The purpose of the activity is to identify job patterns in one’s family. This can be helpful when trying to determine a possible career path as we are often influenced by family.

Here is my family job tree:


As you can see, there were several educators in my family tree. I decided to explore my siblings and their career paths to see if the pattern extended further into my generation. I was not surprised to find that it did.


All FIVE of my biological siblings are teachers (One used to teach guitar so I’m counting that!) or trainers!!  So – 100% of my bio-sibs are educators! If you include the children of my father that adds one voice teacher and one expert in social media who educates others through her journalism. So that makes 7 out 9 or 78%.  


Here’s a genogram of my immediate family. (A genogram is a pictorial display of a person's family relationships.) The RED indicates a teacher/trainer. The BLUE indicates someone who is not.

*Technically, this sibling is NOT teacher at the moment, but since he taught guitar in the past, I'm counting him!! 

None of my stepdad’s kids are educators but one of their children is a Kindergarten teacher.  What does the job pattern look like for my children and the children of my siblings? Out of the nine old enough to be employed, four are teachers of some type. (I’m including the one currently taking a break from early childhood education!) I’d say there is most definitely a pattern in this family. There are seven children who have yet to choose their career path. I wonder if they will choose the same path as many other family members?


I could have made a genogram for that generation as well but it can be pretty time-consuming! I think the point is illustrated well enough to demonstrate there is a pattern in our family. I plan to examine the career choices of my ancestors in the future to determine how far back this pattern may go.

What patterns exist in YOUR family? Take the time to go beyond the vital records. Learning about the choices made by your ancestors may give you some insight into the choices you make!